Aggiedating


22-Aug-2015 16:44

If David Koresh had been interested in Agricultural and Mechanical, he would have matriculated here. They don’t have cheerleaders, they have Yell Leaders Technically, this almost isn’t true anymore -- in 2009, they finally got a “competition squad”, aka a cheerleading squad that’s barely funded and coached by a volunteer who doesn’t even know basic Gabrielle Union moves.

In any event, the real stars are a bunch of crew-cut, overall-wearing wackos who incite the crowd through complex hand signals, the reading of which being just one of the many exciting things you learn during Fish Camp. They kiss their dates after every touchdown As Aggie puts it, “When the team scores, the Aggies score!

Basically, if your team’s fans were having hate-sex with A&M fans, the A&M fans would be thinking about hate-sex with UT fans, begging the question: do they even want to be in this relationship? College Station Aggies will argue that this horrible epicenter of humidity and shirtless fighting is one of the best college towns in the country. The Corps will beat the crap out of you if you rush Kyle Field Kyle Field is NOT a war memorial, but that’s the excuse Corps cadets have psychotically used whenever they’ve physically assaulted anyone who sets foot on it.

That can’t possibly be true, because it’s not even a town. Back in ‘81, TV cameras caught one “Officer of the Day” on a male SMU cheerleader, only to be shoved to the ground by the cheerleader’s squad-mate. Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings Bear Bryant won zero national championships at A&M.

aggiedating-15

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As a rational human being, you probably already despise Johnny Manziel. Now that he’s run, thrown, and autographed Texas A&M into the national spotlight, you’ve got a whole university to intensely dislike.From our Austin edition, here’s a primer on why hating the Aggies is totally justified, and fun.They have a cult indoctrination period known as “Fish Camp” that involves bussing thousands of impressionable teenagers and 900 counselors to an even crappier town than College Station so they can spend four days (four days!) learning fight songs in an auditorium and then finger-blasting each other in an allegedly air-conditioned cabin.

(the author of this post fully admits that Texas hasn't won a national championship since 1970, and that Vince Young hasn't won a national championship since 2005, and that maybe frustration had something to do with this.) 1.They have so much school spirit it’s terrifying A&M doesn’t have freshman orientation.



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