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As I mentioned, the sea monster was dragging things out – I think he enjoyed the drama of it all.

So now you know how I found myself in that rather nasty predicament chained to the rock.

If that wasn’t irksome enough, there was the court painter up on the cliffs, recording the very first impression of Andromeda and the Sea Monster for mythology.

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I don’t know if I was more terrified, or more furious with my parents.I thought I would never see my seventeenth birthday.That really did happen to me – and do you know what? So Mum and Dad caved in without even asking my opinion.The wedding date was fixed, and invitations went out with a little ode by the court bard comparing me to the Nereids and saying that I topped them in the looks department.

We then hear Perseus’ life story, including the tale of how he cut off the snaky head of the Gorgon Medusa. That monster, he was just so – ugh – ugly, slimy, covered in barnacles, and had obviously never cleaned his teeth in his life. If it wasn’t bad enough that he was middle aged and ugly and my father’s brother – he was also – would you believe it – a pirate.He was taking his time, writhing around in the waves and lashing his tail so as to cause me the maximum fright. His ghastly crews of cutthroats were menacing our ports, and he said they would do worse still if I could not be his bride.