Aurora dating online
Part of Amy’s system was creating a scoring system for everything she wanted in a partner, and refusing to go on dates or continue relationships with people who didn’t score high enough on her system. Mira broke down “chemistry” into five requirements: ease and closeness, fun, safety, mutual respect, and affection and passion (see this summary of an earlier version of the five elements by Lisa Wolcott).I decided to combine these two concepts – creating a spreadsheet full of things I wanted from relationships, and then figuring out which ones were important (“dealbreakers”) and which were optional (“extra credit”) by rating how they affected the five elements of “chemistry.” I showed it to several Double Union members who came to our “Quantified Relationships” meetups, who gave me a lot of useful feedback and tips.
It turns out a lot of what I thought was important, wasn’t important at all, and vice versa.In my blog post about how to have more fun online dating, I mentioned the spreadsheet I made to help with dating. Nothing like an evening of writing formulas to get you in the mood for love! Because when you’re feeling romantic, you just want to fire up Excel and input some data!My original intention for making this tool was to make me more aware of and responsive to my “dealbreakers” – things that meant a relationship wasn’t possible.
Note: While I’m the only person who has used this spreadsheet, I designed it to be useful for people of all genders and a broad range of sexualities, including asexual folks.If it doesn’t suit you, please fork it and make your own changes!