Begin dating again after breakup mix dating site


02-Jan-2015 07:53

It’s how you feel about you as a result of the fact that they’re no longer there.

It’s the unanswered questions, it’s listening to the tape of your relationship playing back and wondering what you missed, latching on to something that was said and wondering if that was the start of it all, blaming yourself, sometimes feeling ashamed that you were with them or ashamed that you still want them, remembering the ‘good times’ and then feeling the longing, or feeling indignant that things that they said or professed themselves to be were not what it was.

This is grieving the absence of them from your life, the things that you thought would happen, the promises that were made, and basically any fantasy’s that had built up as a result of your relationship or connection to them, however brief it was.

The difficulty in accepting someone for who and what they are is that it does force us to have to look a little closer to home at ourselves.

A few weeks ago I wrote about the importance of not making someone the sole source of your happiness, your reason for being or your purpose, and explained that on a number of occasions I had believed I wouldn’t love again, that I wouldn’t recover and that I couldn’t be happy without them, only to discover that this was completely exaggerated and untrue.

I’m here, I’m still standing, and with the wonderful vision that hindsight gives me, I realise that it was the pain of letting go more so than the person.

begin dating again after breakup-21

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I ranted, I raved, I bitched, I cried, I complained, I bargained with myself, I replayed every damn conversation and when I chose to accept him for what he is, it made me ask ‘But why on earth would I want to be with someone like that in a relationship like this? At times it made me see my own choices clearly and I would try to refocus my energy on being annoyed with him. People keep saying to me ‘When am I going to get over them?

’ In all honesty, it’s different strokes for different folks but the people I know that If it takes you weeks or even months to get over someone who you knew for days or a few weeks, this is a very disproportionate reaction to your involvement and is indicative that you were too invested in a very brief connection and are struggling to let go of the fantasy. Very traumatic relationships can take more work to get over as it can really affect your trust issues.



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