Curve dating online
Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women.So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten. The female equivalent of the above chart shows a different bias: As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable.Funnily enough, I had to write about a dozen beautiful female users before anyone would even get back to me. Anyhow, I know attractiveness is far from a universal concept, but maybe keep these folks in mind as we go through the data. The information I’ll present in this post is not normalized because, as we’ll see, it’s interesting how men and women evaluate looks differently.Our chart shows how men have rated women, on a scale from 0 to 5.Paradoxically, it seems it’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.We all know that beautiful people are more successful daters, but let’s quantify by exactly how much.To illustrate the exact spectrum of looks we’re talking about here, and to put some human faces on our discussion, I want to introduce a few photos of real Ok Cupid users. As for photos at the bottom of the curve, it didn’t feel right to write someone and say “can I use you to illustrate the concept of ugliness on my blog? The above featured users have graciously agreed to let me post their pictures, so please don’t make them regret it.The curve is symmetric and surprisingly charitable: a woman is as likely to be considered extremely ugly as extremely beautiful, and the majority of women have been rated about “medium.” The chart looks normalized, even though it’s just the unfiltered opinions of our male users.
But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.
Just to illustrate that women are operating on a very different scale, here are just a few of the many, many guys we here in the office think are totally decent-looking, but that women have rated, in their occult way, as significantly less attractive than so-called “medium”: Females of Ok Cupid, we site founders say to you: ouch!