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In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong.
When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.
The San Francisco dating scene is truly bizarre, which is why I've blogged about my experiences dating here a few times.
It is human nature to seek connection, and we should all feel we have the tools we need to find each other.
The reality is that we must hold two truths: Most people today are using online dating platforms to find these connections and the prevalence of gender-based violence is real.
I'm approaching 30, and I've been dating him for over half a decade. And even after all the progress we've made in the name of women's independence, I'm still shamed for it.
It's easy to lose sight of what's important in a relationship.
I didn't have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn't pair up until my 30s.
Besides, so much luck was involved in my finding my match that there are probably more alternate universes where I'm still living solo than where I'm married.
We've lived in four cities together, and we share our home, our creative work and our dreams with each other. Julie Spira Author, Online Dating and Netiquette Expert, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, Media Personality, and Author of the Bestseller, "The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online." Doing things on my own felt awkward and almost embarrassing at first, but over the course of time I have learned to embrace my own company.
Doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, is a true feeling of freedom and independence that I never could have experienced while I was in a relationship.I realize that my past experiences have made me who I am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and have a sisterly chat with poor, clueless, "younger me."I could've written three novels, started a business and hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time and energy.