Dating an old high school friend

16-Jan-2016 06:40

For example you might have daydreamed about you both getting together and travelling somewhere romantic.

You could still do the travel part of that fantasy - alone or with a friend. Wanting a past friendship to develop into a love affair doesn’t indicate a problem, but if you think it could be the case you are also experiencing issues with confidence or forming relationships you might want to: - talk to friends - take up activities to broaden your social life and fill your time (such as volunteering, or a new hobby) - speak to a counsellor in person or online (your GP may be able to help if you are finding this situation distressing although services are currently limited in the UK; or you can self refer and pay for a counselor via BACP) - keep a diary documenting how you feel, and noting how you’d like to feel better - you may find Gary Wood’s book Don’t wait for your ship to come in…swim out to meet it helpful in reassessing what you’d like from life.

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To get someone from your past to be part of your present, it may be better to move beyond memories and sentiment and start completely afresh.

You could also ask yourself what you feel this reconnection represents. If he does get back in touch and wants to meet, remember it’s OK to take your time to find out about each other.

If you offer this choice you have to be prepared for him taking the latter option and consider in advance how you might deal with any disappointment that follows. Again you need to think about how you’ll cope with this – talking to friends or writing about your feelings are two ways that may help.

It’s common when we’re feeling close to someone that we imagine what life might be like if we met up – or even formed a relationship.

If that’s been the case here you can use this experience to reflect on what you want from relationships.

Not all the things you may have imagined will be dependent on a lover.