Dating an ugly woman
Most of us have commiserated over drinks about the countless conversations that go nowhere, the great conversations that result in terrible dates, or the amazing dates that end in radio silence.“You have no idea what it’s like to be called beautiful all the time,” a good friend once remarked.“It’s like your biggest accomplishment is something you didn’t do yourself.” She wasn’t being rude; I’m not beautiful in the traditional sense.I have pock-marked skin, hooded eyes, and a bulbous nose.My voice is deep, which apparently makes me less desirable to men.“I get that they’re not looking for love, but aren’t they trying to hook up? Given the competitive nature of the medium, some men assume if a woman is too attractive, she may be inundated with prospects.Thus, to hedge their bets, they may only approach women who aren’t considered unanimously pretty.
This little factoid adds a layer of difficulty for some of my friends, but the unresponsiveness and awkwardness isn’t unique to beautiful people.
Almost anyone who has spent time online dating knows the disappointment is inherent in the process.
My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.
I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.
Society tells them they’re beautiful and they’re mad at Tinder and Ok Cupid for not providing better prospects. I’m the average-looking sidekick, “the one who online dates,” and it’s my fault they aren’t having a better time. My best friend, who looks like the racially ambiguous lovechild of Brad Pitt and Pocahontas, waves her phone at me in righteous indignation. Several of my “classically attractive” friends are pissed.