Dating and rejection advice


13-Oct-2016 11:30

If it really kills you to see who's viewing your profile before hitting "Delete," most sites let you turn off the function that allows you to see who's peeping your profile.

(CNN) -- Online dating seems like the pinnacle of modernity, an online meat market where glassy-eyed humans browse possible suitors, sorted for ease of shopping by size, shape and moral fabric. " Along with this savanna comes permission to do stuff that'd get you a drink in the face I. Sure, online dating could benefit from a protocol overhaul in terms of courtesy, but begging everyone to change the rules this late in the game would be stupid.

So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.

Save your sobbing for the disappointment of bad first dates, seemingly perfect mates who can't commit and the Ones Who Get Away. The Offense: After reading Suitor X's profile, you are convinced you two are going to fall in love and wander through tulip fields while Louis Armstrong songs waft from some invisible speaker.

You send off a digital epistle, a perfectly worded blend of snark and flirtatiousness ("Oh, my God, I like 'Witch House' too.

We are totally meant to be.") Hours later, you log in again and notice that your Match has viewed your profile and chosen not to respond. Rejection hurts; studies show it can actually stoke the pain nodes in your brain.

It's one thing to be rejected in a bar, where you can just tell yourself homeboy must have a boring girlfriend waiting for him at home; it's quite another to reach out to a single-and-looking chap and let him witness your entire stash of documented wit and charm before deciding you're not worth responding to.

Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book Stuff Hipsters Hate.

When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as an associate editor at and Bartz is news editor at Psychology Today. We're not about to tell you not to do those things.

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And since online dating is a bit of a numbers game, you'll experience this kind of silent-treatment snub -- a lot.

The thing to remember is that whoever just preemptively rejected you is someone you've never met.