Dating frequency of contact
I feel like I have only 2 options: 1) be her BFF or 2) cut her off completely. (And this is not because I’m trying to spare her feelings. The happy medium here is quite elusive, but try this: Two worst case scenarios here are: 1) She’s super-hurt by the whole suggestion and reminder that you would ever need to limit contact, and that she’s rather have no friendship at all than abide by your terms. If she says “.” 2) You guys start out well enough but pretty soon she oversteps her bounds again and you decide to cut off contact again.
These are both contained already in the status quo, right? Maybe you’ll get lucky and be able to have a chatty call every now and again.
My problem is that whenever I give her an inch, she takes a mile.
Once I reach out and say “hey, let’s keep in touch,” she thinks it means, “hey, let’s jump right back into being BFF who text each other every day about our deepest thoughts.” I’ll get 10 unsolicited texts a day from her, about random stuff from her day.
She was my first love, and we were best friends for quite some time before we began the relationship.
After breaking up we tried to stay friends but we were using each other as emotional crutches.
I mean, it feels really uncomfortable when our text history reads “wanna talk tonight? Needy texts, a couple months with no contact, trying to be friends, her getting clingy, me freaking out and then back to the silent treatment. In summary, she wants to be way closer to me than I want to be with her. .” It sucks, because you don’t want to feel like you are unfair and controlling for trying to set the pace of communication in the friendship, but she’s really putting you in that position by stepping all over your boundaries.
I just started going out with a guy whom I’ve known for 5 years.