Dating men with overbearing mothers

04-Mar-2016 22:24

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We share some of the same tastes in food-some disagreements here and there, but we joke around.I always felt like, from a very young age she respected me very much for who I was.And so, in turn, I think I gave her a certain amount of respect that my brothers may not have been able to.Mother's Guilt Nevertheless, this closeness could have a down side, at least temporarily, as many mothers initially blame themselves and these close relationships for their sons' homosexuality. They are sharp and sometimes because of the hard times they have had they are very kind and understanding.In other words, having a close relationship with your mother doesn't make you gay--being gay makes you closer to your mother. Some of the young men in my study felt lonely and wounded as a result of the distance and rejection they experienced in this critical relationship.So, perhaps it is not completely surprising that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I interviewed felt that they had done something to damage them. That was all you cared about.." I was a little hopeless . Fortunately, for many mothers of gay sons--with time and education, they learn that the idea that they had somehow made their son gay is dead wrong This was true of the mothers in my study who also came to see the benefits having a gay son as will be described later in this post. Sadly, some mothers simply cannot adjust to their sons' homosexuality, due to their guilt, religious concerns, or inability to "let go" and accept the ways they live their lives.As quoted by this mother: I remember I would talk to friends and they would say something about their children and I would think, "I am just not as good as you. I did this to my son." And again, I didn't do anything to him. Homosexuality to Blame for Close Relationships with Mother My research, clinical and personal experiences suggest that there is indeed a causal link between male homosexuality and a close maternal relationship but flows in the opposite direction than what was previously thought. For others, there is ongoing mother-son conflict that is aggravated by the coming out process.

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Perhaps it is not surprising that mothers and their gay sons often describe their relationships as close. She was very caring and still is a very caring mother.

Compared to fathers, mothers typically have an advantage whereby they usually interact more with their children. I would say it is almost like a friendship between us.

However, being gay might be a factor that makes some mothers and sons even closer. Well, my relationship with my mother has always been the strongest and the best relationship probably with anyone in my family, so it was always wonderful.

This was found to be true for many of the mothers and sons I interviewed for the study described in the book: My mother and I can best be described as having a friendship as well as a family relationship. I could tell her anything and felt comfortable doing that.

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Perhaps carrying a burden of guilt is part of being a mother. I did that to him." The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growing up that men become gay because their mothers are too mothering. Noah is very kind and very understanding and so is his partner Rick.Research suggests that feeling guilty is an inevitable component of mothering. I stayed home for twelve years raising my kids and I thought I mothered him too much. I even heard that later after I found out about my son, and I felt bad but it was like," OK, how can you love your child too much? (Cynthia, 50) Though it seems like a cloying cliché to say so, it is hard to imagine anything more soothing than a mother's love, particularly for a group of people who experience stigma and at times feel like outcasts.

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