Dating unsure of relationship
We'd been spending lots of time together and even, dare I say, flirting. I signed it with much bravado and some flair, "More-than-a-friend, I hope." Not bad for a grade schooler.I was dying to know what he thought of me and decided to ask him. Though I don't remember exactly how old I was, I do remember feeling nervous.And for those of you with an involved dad or mentors, you can have someone ask the questions on your behalf.There are surprisingly many opportunities to discuss your future, naturally, in the course of conversation. Scott Stanley, a lead marriage researcher at the University of Denver, says that since we no longer have societal norms and expectations for marriage in place, what a woman needs are some tests; ways she can discern where a relationship is headed without initiating the conversation-stopping DTR.If you choose your movies wisely — for more than sheer entertainment — looking for stories that have something useful to say about real life, you may just get the chance to ask some questions of your date that on their own would seem pushy, forced or simply out of place. In addition to movies are books, news stories, passages of Scripture, sermons, music lyrics, holiday traditions, family pictures; the list is endless.I didn't want to put him on the spot, though, so I did the next best thing: I wrote him a note. And giddy with excitement waiting for him to return the note. So much for being his date at the upcoming roller skating party. Throughout my single years, Define The Relationship talks (DTRs) felt like a necessary evil. " and he'd say, "No." Still my need for clarity outweighed my fear of losing yet another shot at marriage.Necessary because I never wanted to spend too much time with one guy in a go-nowhere relationship. You may be having fun with the guy you're dating, but if you're unsure of where you're headed as a couple, what's good today can undermine where you hope to be long term. They'd been together a long time, and everyone assumed they'd eventually marry.
So what does this essential conversation look like? For the bold, a straight up question has the benefit of efficiency.
For others, a more subtle approach can cultivate clarity without an ultimatum.