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The hardest part is going home at night to an empty house. Y'know, sometimes, I turn on the ball game and turn it up real loud like he used to do. Remember, we saw that whole thing on Oprah: People who cannot handle conflict, so right away, they run for the alcohol. Even the bacon we put on our cheeseburgers is flame-broiled, and we use real cheese, and all our buns are toasted! Roseanne: People like us, the poor people, and the people like us regular people are paying more taxes than the rich people because they got all these lawyers who find loopholes, I want loopholes. Becky: If you knew how to run a business he'd still have a job and he wouldn't be leaving. Roseanne: :[through pay phone that Becky left off the hook] Becky?

Roseanne: Yeah, and you go right for your addictive behavior. That is the whole thing: you cannot handle conflict. Commercial Announcer: At Bucky Burgers, our burgers are flame-broiled! And that would have been the very best thing you could've done for her today, but you just ruined it. 'Cause if you're not really married, I'm going to kill you.

Don't sell me the bike, but don't do it because you're still hanging onto the past, do it because you're going to get back on it some day. I quit my job at Wellman, I didn't make it at phone sales, I get fired by some zit-faced brat at Chicken Divine.

I'm paying for a mortgage and putting food on the table and buying clothes for three kids. Ziggy: That's great, fine, don't sell me the bike, I'm not saying sell me the bike.

Faber: [after Roseanne quits by dramatically punching out and tossing her time-card on the floor] Well, that was a wonderful performance, Roseanne, but if any of you are considering joining her, may I point out there are two doors to this room: one that pays and one that doesn't. Commercial Announcer: This week only at the King's Table, our famous Surf 'N Turf Platter - a juicy 10-oz. Maine lobster tail with drawn butter, and steak fries or creamed spinach, all for only .99! [to Darlene] And so I don't have to say it again in a minute, you shut up, too. You see, she thought that you were actually going to do something nice for her..know, like you cared.

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To whom it concerns, I just turned thirteen Too short to be quarterback, too plain to be queen.

To whom it concerns, Darlene's great with a ball But guys don't watch tomboys when they're cruising the hall. Roseanne: Okay, that's fair enough, she got married 'cause she wanted to. And if she doesn't, I'm gonna know that that's because of you. And if she doesn't do that, then I'm gonna know that that's because of you.