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20-Jan-2016 13:57

I have never sent a third, fourth, or fifth email, but now I kinda want to, just to see what happens.

As long as what happens isn’t the cops showing up at my house.

I asked her one question, and the response I received was pure gold. When you’ve got a bunch of emails to choose from, it’s pretty hard to select one that, in the one moment it has to advertise, offers only the word “(none)”. So, generally I’ll go back and find their original message, reread their new message, look at their profile, and decide whether to respond. I actually think it’s not a bad idea to send two emails to everyone you write, if you feel like spending that sort of time on Internet dating, and don’t mind veering dangerous close to serial killer zone.

You may think this applies only to men looking for women, or folks trying to attract someone a bit out of their league – but that isn’t so. Most captivating subject line in that assortment goes to…the guy who wrote “86”, I guess? I’ve just gone from spending 10-30 seconds on your email and probably not even looking at your profile to a few minutes thinking about you. But you gotta handle the second email just right (for suggestions, follow the link). A third email is a little too Bates Motel for Olivia’s tastes.

I read your emails, and I get it: you don’t give a shit. When someone starts off saying they’re emailing me again, it’s like I feel bad for ignoring them and thus I pay more attention to them.

(Can not add link because I totally made that up.) But as we suggested last week, we are not done with Olivia, our resident hot chick. When I go through my inbox, I do read every message.

No, there will be no more stories of woe, no more pleas for sympathy for the complicated predicament of being an attractive lady online. That might sound like a lot of time, but it generally only takes 10-30 seconds to read a message.



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