How to balance being a single mom and dating indian disabled dating


22-Mar-2016 22:04

how to balance being a single mom and dating-57

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I want to be both of the women we all love in the movies, the ‘good’ safe one who kisses babies and everyone likes and the ‘bad’ dangerous one who gets to have sex with everyone and has a ton of personal style, for after all, why choose only one? This too will pass, and if I am honest with myself I’m more than a little proud that I have an exciting enough emotional life at 45 that 20 year old hipsters still find me relatable!I like the part of me that gets swept up – or can even be thrown off kilter sometimes by life events. In fact I believe that if you want to be authentic, flexible, resilient and strong–it can be essential to let life toss you around a little–not try to control it all. I always loved the idea that I would be all June Cleaverish by day, cheery and muffin-makey with my kids and significant other, and yet never turn into an automaton or end up with a medicine cabinet of “mother’s little helpers” burying every emotion or desire not appropriate to that role so deep that I could no longer even feel them anymore. You know the smoldering guy who is tough and ornery, lives life on his own terms and really doesn’t care about the rest? And then by night…well, it’s a whole different thing.But I equally love the idea that at night (or when the kids are not around) I could have a whole separate and different world, one wholly inappropriate for children–one that was more wild and free and creative and honest and uninhibited than any child of mine would ever want to know about. And I’m not just talking about sex–but the whole great big sexy adult world opened up full of subtlety, bawdiness, and passion.And among couples where their youthful more ‘dangerous and sexy’ personality is given free reign– it can cause real problems in family life.So I try to divide and conquer when it comes to single parent dating.I have read articles written by single parents about parenting/self balance and a lot of what I have been hearing is that you need to incorporate elements of each into both–but after 17 years of this parenting thing, I’m afraid I disagree. Kids don’t like that stuff nor can they contribute to it.

Whenever the challenge of managing two worlds at once, without screwing either one up, gets me down, I just think about how dull a full-time life in one or the other would be.

I have no desire to inhabit non-stop momness nor to return to single life without my children, and I realize that my only problem is essentially that I want .