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But beside my non-existent teen love life, the book had a larger impact that as an adult, I’m only now coming to grips with—damaging expectations of myself, men, and sexuality—beliefs that have cost me love, friendship, and given me a life of shame.
(IKDG) about four years later near the end of middle school.
Who wouldn’t want to please God with a pure heart and body on their wedding day?
Of course, it isn’t as simple as all that and, really, IKDG is revealing a method that cedes self-autonomy for what God and your parents want.
, Elizabeth Esther tweeted that she never went to prom because of her Fundamentalist upbringing.
In response, one of her followers tweeted that she didn’t have a prom because of Joshua Harris, the author of the influential book was published in 1997 and quickly became a hit among the Evangelical crowd.
Here was this young guy, only 21, preaching chastity, virtue and not kissing until you got married.
It was a supremely conservative message packaged with youthful fervor and a fedora.
My own parents vowed that their children would never date, we would court, as laid out in Harris’ book.
I remember seeing the cover, and thinking how cool it looked, tipped fedora and all.
The sepia tone seemed romantic, and maybe, when you’re an awkward, depressed teen, that’s all you need to convince you of purity culture: it seems romantic.
It’s fostered the sort of shame that follows me into my relationship now, and it makes me angry at how dating or relationships without marriage as a pre-determined point, let alone sex or any kind of physical affection, were robbed of any joy for me.
The approach Harris offered was a way forward that bypassed the physical possibilities.It seemed safer: who wouldn’t trust their parents to have a say in their husband?