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'Do you think God is punishing me for having sex with a man 20 years younger than me?' This was the question I asked a close friend when I was about to file for bankruptcy back in 2011.One night, my roommate made a Moscato-fueled decision to join the newest trendy site just to see what would happened. I jumped out of my uber and although he was 6’4, he always seemed to stand up a tiny… It was one of those perfect days when autumn is coming but summer is still holding on, so the weather was perfect.

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One fascinating aspect of my work as a couples/ family therapist is that it gives me an intimate view into the current cultural dynamics of couples.

For the last twenty or so years, over half the couples I see contain the "nice guy" with his frustrated wife.

My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. We met in high school and watched each other graduate high school, college, and graduate school, find (and change) careers, and become parents.

We watched each other become adults and now we are watching each other age. I meet my friend Geraldine at a hip, local eatery in the heart of Abbot Kinney in Venice Beach.

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Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday of repentance, had barely been over for 14 hours and I was already fighting with my husband. Over our poached kale and egg salads with a side of chickpeas I notice my firecracker friend is uncharacteristically glum.Has my Teflon-coated mind not retained a single shred of serenity? When Peter died, the only thing that kept me sane was writing about grief. I recognized that by spewing out my emotions with honesty, I was helping others which meant it was work that made me satisfied.



“I talked to X about this, and he/she thinks we should break up.” It’s tempting to do this rather than taking responsibility yourself. Be careful in how you share details of how you are processing, especially if you're struggling to build up the other person in your speech. Remember our responsibility to do good to all Christians, even your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.… continue reading »


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