Interracial dating with black women
We are all members of this collective community living on Earth, and we all need to start being honest with ourselves.
What does it mean to be uncomfortable about interracial dating in 2014? Why are so many people advocating a "stay with your own race" mentality?
While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across a link to a Gawker article that one of my friends reposted.
In an essay entitled "The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black," writer Ernest Baker tackles big topics like Eurocentric beauty standards, the taboo aspect of interracial relationships, and why he dates white women, among others: Why do I date white women?
Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.
The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women... I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person.
I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved.
The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on...
In the midst of a full news feed, it just seemed like more noise. According to a 2013 Gallup poll, 96 percent of blacks and 84 percent of whites approve of black-white marriage.
As a young woman of color, I can attest to the fact that many people in this world feel it is their duty — no, their God-given right — to decide what is best for me, and especially whom is best for me to date.
I couldn't stop repeating the first part of the Clutch headline over and over again in my head. She wrote in a Huffington Post blog late last year: It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.
Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.
In fact, I completely forgot about it until a few responses started to pop up. But what about that 4 percent of blacks and 16 percent of whites?
It was Britni Danielle’s "Nobody Cares That You Date White Girls" piece for Clutch magazine that caused me to go back and reevaluate. Lots of people in this country would like to believe that race relations are swell, racism is dead, and everyone is happy. Image: Gallup There's a belief among some members of racial groups that one who dates outside of that race is disloyal, self-loathing, or has, for lack of a better word, been brainwashed. As author Lincoln Blades asserts in a piece at Uptown magazine, we need to promote an honest discussion about interracial relationships. It's hard to face the truth that educated and talented women like Mac Arthur Fellow Tiya Miles feel contempt towards black men who date white women.