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21-May-2016 08:29

Or am I doomed to forever be saying, "We'll get married after we finish grad school." "We'll get married after we both have more stable jobs." "We'll get married after we save up [insert completely arbitrary amount of money]"?-Lexy I love this question, which is a different version twist on Offbeat Mama's most popular post of all time, "When is the right time to have a child? Yes, it's nice to have a little money in the bank.In some ways, I viewed my wedding as a cherry on top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.(For those of you haven't taken Psych 101, Maslow's general idea is that humans have basic functional needs like food, shelter that must be attended to before you can focus on stuff like relationships or self-realization.) For me, planning a wedding was something I didn't want to prioritize until I had most of the other stuff figured out — financial independence and emotional stability.I am a girl (I'm sure one of many) who is waiting for the day when I will actually be engaged and feel more legitimate about my daily visits to Offbeat Bride.I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 of the almost 4.5 years we have been together, and I'm torn.

" Yes, getting married and having children are different decisions, but in some ways the factors to big life decisions are similar: you have to craft a balance between your emotions and your resources, like money and time. But generally speaking, you don't lose much by waiting a bit — assuming both partners agree to the reasons to wait. All these reasons are valid, very practical reasons to wait a bit. Sometimes is the right time because a family member is dying. And, I will be blunt: sometimes right now feels right because damnit, you're ready to get on with this relationship and take it to the next level.Speaking from personal experience, I don't think there's any rush. Deciding to get married is a very adult, grown-up thing to do too. When do I get to plan my special party, and when do I get to wear a ring, and when do I get to seal the deal and make it official?" My question is, if your relationship and emotions are ready for marriage, is it just stubborn to put it off until "your lives are in order" (whatever that means)?Does anyone ever get to a point where they feel their life is truly in order?

Sure, it's giddy and exciting and about love and crazy deep passion — but it's also a financial decision. I totally felt these feelings, and while those feelings were totally valid — they weren't necessarily the best motivations to get married. If it's about a party, then consider the kind of party you want to have and whether you have the resources to throw that kind of party.I think every person feeling impatient to get engaged has to step back and really examine the motivations. If you don't have the resources to throw a big party, then consider whether you're so eager to get married that you'll skip the party for now, get legally hitched, and "get weddinged later, when you've got the resources.



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