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You’ll be happier later–and you’ll likely sleep better, too! If you grew up thinking that only boys wanted sex, and girls just acquiesced, then you may think that it’s your role to sit back and just respond to him. He’s the only man on earth who really truly knows you. I kept getting up from my computer whenever he got up from his and walking over and seeing if I could get him interested in something, but I never let him know what I was doing. But after following him around like a puppy dog for an hour, he finally turned to me and said, “are you okay?
When I was researching my book The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I did surveys and interviewed both men and women.
And here’s what one guy said about initiating sex: For men sex communicates love and acceptance, while a lack of sex communicates the opposite.
I had thought he was busy and was rejecting me, but he just really didn’t know what I was getting at.
It just happened (all the more reason to go to bed at the same time, so that things can “just happen”! And sometimes he has a really low sex drive, and so the whole initiation pattern is thrown off. I’ve got a series for women in that situation here. When a man feels a good sexual connection with his wife he starts to want other forms of intimacy. The need was always there, but it is hard to hear over the much louder need for sexual intimacy. If you’re going to initiate, the first step is NOT telling him “do you wanna? ” The first step is getting in the right frame of mind for sex so that you’re enthusiastic about it, too! Because often as soon as the thought pops into our heads we talk ourselves out of it.
I realise this is not usually what women are communicating with sex and saying no, but it is what men feel.
Even when you convince a man this is not what she means, he will still feel it. –and help your husband feel like the most blessed man in the world! The following do NOT count as initiating sex: (Sorry, that’s the Canadian coming out in me in the last one).