Problem with dating older guys
(Um, probably don’t do this, you guys.)It wasn’t like I was stupid. But I didn’t have enough experience or wisdom (as opposed to intelligence) to completely understand what I was getting into.I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct.I mean, I know: some cute college guy who spells his texts properly and actually seems to wash his face (be still my beating heart) can be pretty tough crush competition for the bros in your 10th grade math class.And if there’s one thing of which I’m certain about you Rookies, it’s this: to borrow a compliment frequently expressed to you by your grandpa/kindly next-door neighbor/best friend’s mom, YOU ARE VERY MATURE FOR YOUR AGE.Looking back at that relationship now, seven years later, there are so many things I wish someone had told me before I decided to become the Lolita to this guy’s Humbert².That, by the way, is actually a comparison I made at the time, which is so gross to me now.
When I was 15, I was dating a 28-year-old (cue gasping).Which means it can sometimes be tough to find things in common with other people who, well, aren’t that way, including potential homecoming dates.I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl.None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita.
It doesn’t mean you have “daddy issues” or whatever; that phrase doesn’t actually mean anything, because it can be applied (or, preferably, not) to every person on the planet.Being attracted to someone older just means you are a human person who sometimes thinks other human people are sexy!