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"You could say, 'If I'm feeling pressured it works against me, but know that I'm OK. If not, drop the issue knowing you've at least mentioned it in a sensitive, supportive manner.4. "It doesn't matter how many sex partners each of you has had," points out Dr. "HPV and other bugs hitch a ride on human genitals, just as the common cold goes for your nose and throat." It's best to talk about this matter-of-factly before you have sex for the first time. "Many women prefer to assume exclusivity because they're afraid the guy won't agree to it." In that case, you should know and make an informed decision about whether to have sex. "You should both feel comfortable, perhaps in one of your homes or in a dimly lit lounge," says Puhn. It's better to talk about not wanting sex, but how do you say "no" without it sounding like "never"?
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Also, choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to halt what's happening. It can be easy to move into patterns in a sexual relationship, "especially if a couple starts out with little sex information or strong opinions about what 'normal' sex is, leading them to reject many erotic options," says Dr. If your sexual playbook becomes staid, she suggests talking to a sex therapist or coach—or doing some reading. Failure to launch and premature party ending are touchy subjects.
To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something you'd like to experience. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu," says Dr. "Some books, like , are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot," says Dr. "Most guys don't want to talk about it while in bed," says Joel D.
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