Reasonable dating expectations
When partners place at least some responsibility for the success of the relationship on themselves, Lowe tells Web MD they ultimately will get more from each other.
seem a bit conventional, experts say one of the best ways to win at love is to hold off physical intimacy until you really get to know someone.
"Sex changes everything," says relationship coach and matchmaker Melissa Darnay.
"When you think of the traditional marriage vows when people are pledging to honor and cherish, they talk a lot about what they are going to give to the relationship.
Today, when people talk about a relationship they often talk in consumer terms -- like what am I going to get out of this, and what are you going to do for me," says Lowe, founding director of the Center for The Family at Pepperdine University in California.
Both partners should give more of themselves and expect more in return.
As such, she says it's reasonable to expect that you will not only begin to spend more time together, but also give more to each other emotionally.
"I always tell my female clients not to have sex until he says 'I love you' -- because if you become intimate too soon you'll be thinking 'Oh, now we're a couple,' while he's thinking 'Oh boy that was sure fun,'" says Darnay, author of the book .
The end result, she says is that one partner is playing by one set of relationship rules, while the other may not even be on the game board.