Rejection online dating websites
Can we learn or improve our ability to be resilient in the face of rejection?“I think resilience in the face of social rejection is partly an innate tendency but can be enhanced by learning.But perhaps nowhere is the rejection more cutting than in the world of online and app-based dating, where a thumbs-down swipe-off from a potential romantic interest is immediate and unequivocal. Do I have the thick skin to deal with this constant rebuttal? I often steer clear of men who are “out of my league," and I've frequently held back from telling people my true feelings for fear they won't reciprocate.It could be useful to help retrain the thought patterns of those who are especially sensitive to rejection." Dr Perkin's words resonate because we are increasingly subject to rejection in modern life. ” We pine: "He'll come crawling back, I'll make him realise what he's lost." We tell ourselves stories to ease the sting “He is selfish, he doesn't allow room for anyone else in his life.” As a freelance journalist, it's a scenario I experience on a daily basis.
Researchers at Michigan University asked a group of depressed people and a group of non-depressed people to view the photos and profiles of hundreds of other adults in an online dating scenario.
Participants indicated those they were interested in.
Rather than feeling 'numb' at the snub, they experienced the full the sting of rejection more sharply, and found the pain less easy to deal with.
In the happier event of learning that the person they liked reciprocated the feeling, both depressed and non-depressed individuals reported feeling happy and accepted. However, the researchers noticed that the upturn in mood was much more fleeting among those who were classed as depressed.
According to current scientific thinking, the key to the discrepancy in response lies in an area of the brain known as the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which appears to become more active during rejection scenarios."Activity in the ACC is associated with physical pain," explains Dr Adam Perkins, lecturer in the neurobiology of personality at King’s College London.