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Eventually, I realized that the fear of commitment was what made it so great. They require blood, sweat, and tears before you see the harvest. We all eventually face a decision that requires something deep of us. But when I kissed my wife, I knew that pushing through the fear was the right choice. I had a picture in my mind of an ideal and when my experience didn’t meet that, I would get scared and want to leave. Instead, I stuck through, and it made all the difference. Initially, I struggled with committing the rest of my life to one person. They may be less grandiose than the quick and erratic changes that mark adolescence, but they are far more beautiful. When we work past our commitment phobia and do something, we find a deeper, albeit more subtle, form of abundance in life. We try to play it safe, and that’s the wrong approach. I learned about the fruit of commitment first through getting ready for marriage. Some blessings only come with long-term investment. Lewis calls this phenomenon the “quieter love.” It surpasses butterflies and gushy feelings, but still has a profound effect on the soul. We want to hold back, we want to minimize our potential losses.“If they can leave so easily that early, they either have their own stuff going on (from their past, which you can’t solve), or they weren’t really into you in the first place.” The most frustrating part of being ghosted is that you’re never likely to get any answers. Be a man about it.” The good news is that there is a way to prevent being ghosted – sort of.
I’m tired of noncommittal, unreliable people who give the rest of us ready to make a difference in the world a bad name. Every leader I know, every influencer I meet, knows something that I am slowly learning: Greatness doesn’t come cheap. You can’t take a relationship to the next level without making a choice. Recognize that this is a form of what Steven Pressfield calls the Resistance — a spiritual, emotional force that is trying prevent you from being your true self.
Here’s a message to those who are apprehensive to commit: It’s time to get over your commitment phobia and something. Something is holding you back from committing; don’t let it. Commit and Download my free e Book on why now is the best time to become a writer.