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If the final guy James choose was gay, they’d both win cash and some crazy prize package. This is the one show title that you HOPED wasn’t literal. And then there’d be Chris Jagger and these two moronic couples, talking about the dates they went on with other people and whether they wanted to stay together. Now, you’re probably saying to yourselves, “But don’t little people need to find love too? And the problem wasn’t that he was a little person. And then one of the contestants, Ryan Jenkins, killed his wife. And VH1 cancelled that series because Jenkins had made it to third place on the show. She runs her high-end dating service, “The Millionaire’s Club,” with an iron-fist, throwing around insults and barking orders at anyone who will listen. In a shocking twist, none of the couples end up married. Three bachelors live in a house with 32 single women, all vying for their affection. was a Bachelor-style dating show, except all of the contestants had… The show began with single guy Luke giving each of the contestants a promise ring — promising that he wouldn’t judge them for their size.

As a twist for leading gay bachelor James Getzlaff. That has to cross some kind of invisible dating show line, right? The fact that no one was murdered in the making of this show is a small miracle. You’d be channel surfing, looking for something — anything — to watch. She was like a dumber Paris Hilton, and her search for a sugar daddy over the three episodes of the series we saw were really enjoyable. So, five couples agree to become engaged to someone they’ve never met and then each week, marriage counselors vote off another couple. You know, in the way it’s fun to watch any trainwreck.

But really, the fifth wheel was pretty much a flat tire. Just from that title wordplay alone, you knew this was a brilliant, sloppy disasterpiece. And in PERFECT Reality TV form, they both ended up picking the same dude. Of all the bad dating shows, this one actually has a pretty clever premise. , or as it’s known now “the story of our lives thanks to a little thing called internet dating” was probably the most straightforward dating show concept on this list. Oh, and if that weren’t enough, consider this: neither James nor any of the gay contestants even knew this twist was going down. Apparently, gay sexuality is SO FUN to make fun of. ” And your mind would be blown EACH TIME, no matter what the outcome. On this little gem, five women check out thirty men who literally pass them by on a gigantic conveyor belt. The problem was that FOX basically advertised it as a modern day freak show. cast-members in a room to look for the man of their dreams out of thirteen eligible bachelors? And do you remember how like, one of the girls would be named HBIC each week and that girl would then pick the dates of the other girls? Unfortunately, Oxygen hasn’t aired a season in the past two years. Which is why we tune in, week after week, to see how it all goes down. ), this show revolved around one woman choosing a husband from 20 suitors. They all wore masks the entire time, so she would judge them based on their personality alone.

BUT NEITHER SIDE KNOWS SHE’S BISEXUAL until the end of the first episode. The thing is, Tila Tequila was so effing annoying that we actively rooted against her. , but both women were choosing from the same pool of male and female contestants. If the guy he chose was straight, the straight guy would win K and James would win nothing but a broken heart. And next thing you knew, you were actually watching , not as background noise or anything, but literally on the edge of your seat being like, “THERE’S NO WAY THEY’RE GOING TO STAY TOGETHER, IS THERE?! But seriously, another show about dating and whether or not to stay with your mate? Is there anything more romantic than a conveyor belt? But is there actually anything romantic about dating shows, DEFINITELY not. At the end of the show, the last lady standing learns the truth — and if she chooses him despite his bank account, the show surprises them with a hefty million dollar check. And the problem wasn’t that his pool of eligible bachelorettes were made up of other little people and women of average stature. And you just can’t air a show where one of the finalists is a murder IRL. She’s terrible, and her rules for love are outdated, sexist, and all-around horrible. , except instead of voting for their favorite singer, America votes on total strangers’ MARITAL STATUSES. To help them sort it all out, the dude’s mothers also live in the house, and do their best to influence their son’s decisions. Luckily, one of the moms was totally racist and anti-semitic, so it was at least fun to watch her be like “Not the Jewish girl! And then he proceeded to choose the skinniest one of the bunch as the winner. Since women are notoriously known for judging men based only on their appearance (and not the other way around!

The only thing it really had going for it was that as the day progressed, the dates got sexier and sexier. True story: Flav is THE BEST lead on any reality dating show there’s EVER been. But he was funny and charming and completely in on the joke. We’re not surprised that a show where a female contestant goes on a group date with three men and then has to decide which one of them is in a relationship with a woman, which one of them is in a relationship with a man, and which one of them is straight and available to her, would air on Lifetime. That one guy who is now engaged to Jennifer Hudson? We only got two seasons of (see below) this show revolved around 25 women who thought they were dating Prince Harry. The kid dates those people, and then has to decide whether to keep their current relationship, stay single, or choose one of the new options. If a gay guy is picked, he gets all of the money and the woman receives nothing. And then at the end, each woman would decide which man they chose as a “stud” they wanted to go out with again. This is also known as the last time 15 DIFFERENT women put in a lot of effort in order to date a man who was 5’3 and said things like “Will you be my bambina? Sadly, it wasn’t the million people thought he had.

Like, let’s not forget he gave all the girls nicknames because he couldn’t remember their real names! It is, after all, the television network for women who love men who hate women. Like The goal was to find romantic partners for three eligible bachelors — one of whom was Plain White T’s member Tim Lopez — by using matchmakers and a field of bachelorettes. If the dude guessed who chose them, they’d win an all-expense paid date to a Sizzler or something like that. ” Okay, so technically, Rick Rockwell was a multi-millionaire! Which, in the end, turned out to be the smallest problem with FOX’s horrendous reality special.

It makes us feel that all our terrible dates aren’t nearly as bad! In true dating show fashion, this leads to juicy drama and broken hearts galore. And if it goes well enough, we’ll take one of the dudes and do a show around him! The only good thing about the show was that every once and awhile, the dater would choose a real troll. On the original Dutch show, or on the moronic ABC executive who thought it would be a good idea to bring this show over. Two people go out on a blind date chaperoned by their ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. Except, the thing is, when it comes to reality dating isn’t the answer ALWAYS MONEY?! Anyways, one contestant has 16 suitors to choose from, but they have the opportunity to choose a cash prize over “love”. It followed Ray J’s desire to “find a ride or die chick, a chick that makes me want to get out of the dating game.” Brandy must have been so proud. This was just a fun chance to laugh at how stupid and ignorant American women are. Then five suitors ride the Next bus, waiting for a chance to “date” them.

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Instead, they threw in a bunch of heterosexual men in there too. One contestant was physically chained to four suitors for DAYS and had to choose a winner at the end of it all. And it would have been more of a big deal if Bravo had actually cast the show with all gay men.



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