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29-Sep-2016 06:58

A Tattoo Artist Not only will I get free tattoos, but he will be covered in tattoos, which will deter people from asking me what mine mean, because no one will have the time to get into it.

(This seems like a good litmus test, because I work in comedy and have heard of “Kids in the Hall,” although, to be honest, if you told me any of the following people were in “Kids in the Hall,” I would believe you: Rick Moranis, John Candy, Eugene Mirman, Eugene Levy, Stephen Colbert.) A Doctor Who Never Talks About Being a Doctor I like the idea of dating someone with a fancy job that actually helps people, but I do not care about the human body, so I would prefer that he never talk to me about it.When it comes to love, Martina Paillant won’t settle for someone who has a credit score below 700.He doesn’t read all my tweets, but when I tell him about a tweet and ask him to go read it, he does, and he laughs. A Conventionally Attractive Man I find hot people (e.g., Daniel Craig) extremely unsettling, but I do want to widen my horizons. I think the nation can deal with me, Niall, and Harry being in a throuple.Maybe there’s something good about dating a tall, strong, boring guy. It barely even counts as three people, since Harry Styles and I are essentially the same person—or were, before he cut his hair.

”) Someone I Meet Randomly on the Subway I would love to date someone who does not know any of my friends, hasn’t dated any of my friends, and hasn’t gone through a horrible breakup with any of my friends.

I would love to build up to dating someone without the prior knowledge that he once went on a date with a friend of a friend and acted “weird” in a nonspecific way.